If somebody asked me what divided the good times from the bad days I talked to her, I wouldn’t hesitate to answer that it was a storm of the night.
It was her first trip, from Friday night to Sunday night. Before departing, I said that when traveling, you should enjoy everything from nature and heaven, don’t text each other all the time. She agreed with the convention not to chat during the trip, reminded me to watch the movie One Day when I was free and on the way, I also got in the car to Hai Phong for weekend rest. But on Saturday night, she texted her stomach aching, felt uncomfortable and told me what to talk about. I was watching a movie at that time, so jokingly, “you have to obey the convention, I won’t answer messages anymore”, she also said nothing.
The next Sunday evening, the Northeastern region welcomed a huge and terrible storm, which was greater than all other storms in a decade or so.
Since 8 p.m., I sat fidgety waiting for the message that she got home safely. Not even seeing anything, I have no mind to watch The Voice, the phone is just bobbing in my hand. At about 11 pm, I could not stand it anymore, and immediately dialed the phone. The bell rang as long as a year, no one answered. I suddenly remembered the end of the movie One Day I watched the night before, feeling like in the middle of lightning strikes. All night I could not sleep at all, sat there in the dark in the blackouted room, only the sound of rain falling, the sound of trees falling and the flashing thunder, the cell phone still in hand. Just sit there and mumble:
“Please, don’t be like Emma.”
Monday noon, I go to the bus station to Hanoi, everywhere I see the uprooted trees lying on the road. Leaving deep, naked chasm, like my own heart. I don’t remember what I ate that day, what I said, what I did other than charge my phone, and then called once every once in a while. There are still only long ringing sounds that make people go crazy, or the soulless line “Your subscriber …”. Until dusk, I received a text from her, saying that I had just arrived safely in Hanoi. She just explained that last night the storm had rained so the group decided to set up a roadside tent to spend the night, only to return today, that she didn’t answer the phone because she wanted to abide by our damn convention. And that was when I could no longer control the storm of emotions that had overwhelmed me from the previous day. I also forgot about the motto I used to tell myself about love, there was also a line from The Prestige that I told her on the day of ‘getting to know each other’: “Never show anyone. They’ll beg you and they’ll flatter you for the secret, but as soon as you give it up… you’ll be nothing to them. ”
I don’t remember what I said, how angry, just remember how much I was worried about and cared about her.
No mistake, when a magician can no longer keep a secret, he will be nothing, in the eyes of the other person. After the storm, things return to their inherent tranquility, but superficiality and distance appear. And then it just got bigger and bigger, till I couldn’t take it anymore, and let the storm blow away.